Oops!!!

Will I got my first citation yesterday! Yep I'm a bad boy. I was going 86 in a 15. The cop saw me started to chasing me and and knew that this was my only chance in life to run from a cop, and I knew a could out run him, so I floored it, and I was easily clocking 140 on foothills road, the cop was way behind me, and I knew I won. But suddenly I look ahead and saw 6 cop cars blocking the road, but I ramped over them! “Is that the best you can do?” I screamed out my window as I was flying through the air. After I got out on highway 35 I saw look up and saw a chopper in the air, they tried to shoot me with a snippers rifle, but I was way to good at dodging their pathetic bullets. Again I look ahead only to see a spike strip covering the whole road! “piece of cake!” I thought to myself as I simply swerved around it... “their going to have to do better then that” not a second after I whispered those words to myself, I look in my rear view mirror and saw an RPG missile come strait at me. It hit right in front of my jeep making it fly off the road. It landed on it's roof so I rolled it back over with one hand. “It's not over yet” I stared for the forest cause my jeep has 4wheel drive. I came to the base of a cliff. I but it in 4 low, and drove right up it. When I reach the top and the whole National guard was waiting for me! They surrounded my with every kind of gun you can imagine...... except for the one I own..... but I didn't have it with me at the time. So I grab my deck of magic cards and my purse. I jump right out at the started throwing my card like Chinese stars, and swinging my purse like a battle ax. After a few moment 8 Marines, were on top of me punching my face, so I decided to give up the game. After all I'm not trying to kill anyone. After they got off of me, the officer that chased me first, walk up to me and said with a very cheerful tone. “how are you doing to day sir?” I said “fine” he said “ well I clock you going a little over the speed limit, so can I see you driver's license.?” so I give him all my stuff and he took it to his car meanwhile I'm still on the ground and at gun point. he came back handed me my stuff and said very kindly “will your insurance card it expired. So I'm going to site you for that. But as for the speeding: just try and slow down Mr. Mallery” They all left, and know I have to go to court to show Kathryn (that's the judge) my new insurance card and I'll be off the hook. The end........ “what? You don't believe me? Ok I'll tell the truth!.... it was only 70mph in a 15mph zone!” (-;}